The Unsure Negotiator

She almost didn’t ask.

The offer came in and it was not what she had hoped for. A much larger time commitment, no travel pay, but mid to higher compensation for the industry.

She told herself the same thing many people do: Don’t push too hard. You might lose it.

So she accepted.

A few weeks later, she found out a peer doing similar work had negotiated and received exactly what she had quietly wanted. Same client. Same timing. Different outcome.

It stayed with her.

Not as regret, but as clarity.

The next time an opportunity came, she did something different.
She prepared.

She got clear on what she wanted and why.
She thought through how to ask.
She practiced saying it out loud.

When the offer came, she did not rush to accept.
She asked.

Calmly. Thoughtfully. Without comparison. Without pressure.

And they said yes.

Same opportunity. Same kind of conversation.
Different level of preparation.

The difference was not confidence.
It was readiness.

The Angry Negotiator

He was taught to win.

Push harder. Hold firm. Never give an inch.
If the other side feels it, you are doing it right. 

He often felt like he got most of what "his side" wanted.

Then on a call with another company, he did exactly that.

He interrupted the other side.
He challenged every point.
He made it clear he would not back down.

When the call ended, he felt good about it. 

Until he didn’t and he got a call from his boss saying:

“They do not want you on the next call. They asked the CEO if you can sit the next call out and the CEO agreed."

Not because of the terms.
Because of how he showed up.

He had been so focused on winning the deal that he lost the room.

So he changed his approach and prepared.

He stopped treating negotiation like a fight.
He stopped attaching himself to a single outcome.
He started preparing for options, not just positions.

He learned to listen.
To ask better questions.
To stay steady instead of sharp.

The next deal looked similar on paper.
But it felt completely different in the room.

The conversation flowed.
The other side opened up.
Options expanded.

And in the end, they got everything they needed.

Not because he pushed harder.

Because he collaborated better.

The Trusting Negotiator

He believed people would do the right thing.

If you worked hard, showed up, and were easy to work with, things would balance out.

So he did not push.
He did not question offers.
He did not ask for more.

He trusted it would be fair.

For a while, it felt fine.

Until patterns started to show.

He heard his friends in the same industry were getting much better terms.
Better compensation.
More flexibility.

Not because they were better, in fact, the quality of his work was unmatched in the market.

But because they asked.

That was the moment it shifted.

Not into anger.
Into awareness.

Fairness is not automatic.
It is negotiated.

The next time an offer came, he did not assume anything.
He prepared.

He got clear on his value.
He thought through what mattered most.
He planned how to ask.

When the conversation came, he stayed respectful.
Steady.
Clear.

And he asked.

The outcome changed.

But more importantly, so did he.

He still trusted people.

He just no longer relied on trust to protect his value.